Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Things that go bump...all the time.

I live in a haunted house. I have accepted this from the time I was small. But it still gives me the heebie jeebies when Toto is chasing something around the house, barking, biting at, and growling at something that I CANNOT SEE. I also have a very handy ghost radar that went off at the same time. Creepy shit yall.

Also on much the same note- me and Beau saw a spirit the other night and it about scared me to death. (no pun) It was one of the most fasinatingly scary things on earth.

Random facts:
*I want to go ghost hunting again.
*Me and Beau met in a cemetary- but im not gonna really touch on that now lol.
*I have seen two spirits in my life. That i knew without a shadow of a doubt that is what i saw.

That is all
Booo! you whore
-Nikki

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

They dropped it like it was hot.

Today marks 5 years of the removal of the title "Planet" from Pluto.

and all I have to say is -WTF NASA

I still consider it a planet. Try and stop me. I will stab you in the left testicular with a sharp moon rock, but try, go ahead. Not a threat- A promise.

But on a serious note- I honestly don't understand why the change was made. It was like that for a while...



It hurts my heart to know that my future children will now have to say "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine" WTF. NINE WHAT? Way to leave a giant cliffhanger to us all NASA.

NINE PIZZAS 4 LYF
-Nikki

PS!
I decided to go to an outside source, and apparently, I am the only one heartbroken about this.

But to truly test that theory, I took it to the good people at Omegle because that is, after all where the great thinkers of my generation go to answer life's pressing questions.

They didn't fail me.
Welcome to the future.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My bum hurts.

Because I just got VIOLATED by my school's bookstore.

$266.86 FOR THREE BOOKS. THREE

That is including two USED ones. And excluding one book that the publisher sent the wrong package for. Which just so happens to be the most expensive book I will have to buy. That one book will be $200 alone y'all! This is ridiculous!

Add that to tuition, regular school supplies, and all the GD fees we 'have' to pay like to use the stupid library. Which is consequently where I am typing this from. I am going to use that money to its fullest. What pisssssessss me off beyond all belief is when The librarians and school admins get on to the student population for using too much paper. I SPENT $200 DOLLARS IN LIBRARY FEES. WE ALL DID. WHERE THE HELL IS THAT MONEY GOING IF NOT TO EFFING PAPER. SO NO. I will not limit how much paper I want to use. I will use all of it if I damn well please. I PAID FOR IT.

lsco



UGH!

I need an icepack
-Nikki

Monday, August 22, 2011

Back on my Grind

I solemnly swear to never say that again.
Now that that is out of the way-

My second "official" year in college started this morning bright in shining in the morn at 8. What was I thinking taking a class starting at 8am? I'll tell you what I was thinking taking a class starting at 8am- I had no choice. It's because I procrastinate. Because all later classes were filled. Because this is the only time slot I still had open. Because I had to. Maybe one day when I have a tubed up piece of parchment in my hand will I forgive myself for having to wake up at 6.

My 8 am class is my Intro to Computing class. I think I am really going to like the teacher. I already took this class once but had to drop it because my teacher bored me to tears and she hated me. So I made sure to not get her again. Here's looking at you- Mrs. Jinx. Here's to you for failing me even though you could have made it seem like I was never there at all. And here's to you for hating me because I could look at stumble upon all class long and still make A's on your tests.

Also- I have a Public Speaking class. I am too socially awkward for this shit yall! My teacher's the bomb-diggity even though she did relate us all to eagles. Eagles are huge and I'm pretty sure they could eat me whole. Oh and it's illegal to kill the bald ones. OK so that makes them bad-asses, I'm suddenly more okay being compared to one. She once ran for Congress. The teacher, not the eagle. Because the eagle is me. And I didn't run for Congress.

Government sucks. That's all the nice things I have to say about that class.

A weird thing always happens at the beginning of the school year. Well two. Well a lot but I'll talk about two.
1. I always start out super motivated to stay on top of everything and super organized. this always fails.
2. There's always a crap-ton of people at the beginning. It freaks me out.

And another thing I noticed- Everyone hides behind their cellular devices. :/

No Apple for Mrs. Jinxs!
-Nikki




Wednesday, August 17, 2011

PSA

My life has been boring lately.
I have a class tonight on how to teach because once again I will be teaching religion. Thatttss right, I am the molder of young minds. I taught my own 1st grade class last year. (Seriously, whooo lets ME teach first graders Catholic Religion by myself! I did pretty good though. Pat on the back to me)Anywho I am not a teacher this year but a helper in 5th grade which is awesome becaue I don't have to do lesson plans. I win.

But that is not the point of this. This the exact polor opposite of what I was just talking about. That is north and this is south.

I am going to just briefly touch on how awkward it is to send or recieve a text message not meant for the other person//me.

I cannot tell you how many times friends have talked shit on people and accidently sent it to them, i have recently had a few friendships dissolve because of that. But screw em its for the better if they were gonna talk mess anyway! I will cut them. Ok not really.

But it's worse when you recieve an *ahem* explicit message from someone and it was NOT MEANT FOR YOUR EYES. Serious, have you seen what acid can do to an eye? thats kind of what mine feel like.

SO TO THE POINT :

PLEASE DOUBLE CHECK YOUR TEXTS BEFORE YOU SEND THEM


My name's Nikki and I approve this message.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Im melting.

Man, it is HOT yall!

Getting into a car with 100+ degree weather outside is enough to make my skin crawl away and hide. My leather steering wheel doenst exactly feel nice and cozy on my phalanges.

This is what I have resorted to.

(please excuse my little sausage fingers and my dirty fingernails.)


Yes. That is a pipe cleaner.
No that is not my car. It's Momma Bears. It was behind mine so I drove it instead because quite frankly im lazy.

I had one on each side (10&2) and used that to steer. I looked like I was in charge of a horse-drawn buggy, and it was awesome.

Luckily my steering wheel cooled down five minutes down a back road so the only thing that saw me was a cow. And i swear to Henry, I swear I witnessed that heifer laugh at me.

It is hot it is hot it is hot IT IS HOT
Nikki

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The Catfish Whisperer

I touched base on my twitter on what happened a few days ago, but I think it needs a longer explanation. So here it is..How beau became the Catfish Whisperer (an illustrated story)

base
We were at the river (There are stars in our eyes because we are in LOOVEEEE)
1
2
A catfish was swimming down the river. Beau and it locked eyes. It was love at first sight
3
It swam closer
4
Then It allowed Beau to pick it up WITH HIS BARE HANDS
5
He let it go and it swam into the sunset
6

THE END
And I really wish I was making all of that up.
I saw it
I saw it with my own two eyes.

Beau of course thinks hes big pimpin master of the catfish.


WTF CATFISH-Nikki

We have a Whiner!






For once, I wasn't the poutey one.

Have you ever been to Bucees?
He hasnt. He never even knew it was a real place until we passed 15 billboards for it in our town. The rest of the night he wouldnt shut his pie hole and got all butt hurt because i wouldn't drive 2+ hours at 6pm FOR A GAS STATION

He is still wanting to go to the magical place of the beaver. How in the world did I get into this? It's getting bad.

On a different note- Geocashing is the shiznit. I kinda suck at it but Im getting better! I feel like a pirate going on a secret mission to go treasure hunting. AKA I feel like a badass. yeahhhh buddy!

Give me yer booty or I'll make you walk the plank!
Nikki

Saturday, August 6, 2011

My names Nikki and I am a HUGE creeper

So at the risk of appearing more creepy than we all know I really am I have to share that my blog-idol completely just said we can be best friends.

Today=made.



Getting up today was totally worth it.

Santa Claus had a Drug Charge?

I carry a notebook around most everywhere I go. It helps me when I get anxious and upset and it is just handy when I am bored. I love notebooks. I have about a cagillion and eight and almost none of them are full, because I get distracted easily.

Anyway as Beau was laying ill in the hospital bed at the ER I wrote down all my random thoughts (hospitals make me nervous, it was necessary.)
You can see the time progression in how ridiculous I got. I am in no way proud of the state of mind I got into. We were there until 3:00 in the morning! Don't judge to harshly.

Thoughts from the ER

-I LOVE the bitchy lady @ vidor burger-king =) She was completely rude and unnecessary, but entertaining none-the less.

-Why do people bring 3+ people with them to the ER. That is just stupid. and Selfish. Some people could actually use those seats their behemoth sized relatives'booties are in.

- Large amounts of (loud) people make me nervous. Think of something else. Gophers! But gophers get in large groups too. Awwwhhhh shytee.

-Public Service Announcement: If you re over the age of 13 you should NOT be in the Kid zone playing with blocks. Thank you, that is all.

- I wonder if there is a way to sterilize some people without their knowledge. How would you go about that? Slip something into their drinks? Like Roofies? The new date-sterilization trend would dramatically improve this world.

- There needs to be a date sterilization drug.

- How can I trick toto into wearing and liking puppy shoes?

-Trashy people are Trashy.

- Mont. Trash-e-zuma needs to be made. A giant island for all the trashy people to be put on. And once there they can be given the date-sterilization drug and live happily ever after. THE END.

-Beau please stop crying =[

- How many names for calling someone an ass can I come up with?

-No. Flirting with the nurse is not cool, Beau. I do not care how much nicer she is to you because of it!

- Scratch that. Flirt all you want. Cute Doctor =]

-Me: "I wonder what I could use in this room in case zombies make a go for it, we are in a hospital, it would be prime location"
(Doped up) Beau MORE BOTTLES OF MORPHINE. So we don't feel it when we get nibbled on!!! OHH OH OH OHH AND the zolphram! For nausea!

-If I hear that freaking machine go off one more time I will go street rat crazy.

-Beau. Get that smug look off your face before I smack it off.

-Wishing you were Charlie Sheen is not appropriate,beau. Not appropriate at all!

-I want a giant chair shaped like a hand.

-Ohhh what I would give for a comfy bed.
*This uncomfortable chair, television,beaus left kidney (you only need one), Oranges, etc etc

-Bitch don't come in here! I ain't your daughter! IDK What room they moved her to! I'll get crunk wit chew gurlll BITCH PLEASE. (obviously one of my shining moments. I lose all decency when sleep deprived. Depending who you are you will find me a ton more interesting//funny//annoying. your choice)

-Diabetes if freakin scary y'all! My whole life I just thought it was just no sugar for you! That shit can make you blind! HOLY C&B

-It is sad to realize your heroes have no clue who in hell you are.

- I want to jump into the blue fountain and see if it will turn me blue. How great would it be to be a smurf for a while! I wonder who i can convince to be my papa smurf. I get to be smurfette! ME! I DO! ME MEMEMEEMEMMEMEME! Smurfs remind me of Donnie Darko. Jake Gyllenhall is hawt lyk omg!!111!! ahh. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.

- I need footie pajamas. And a snuggie. Is that overkill? I want a cape too. And my footie pajamas need a hood! With a face! And a cape!

-Fruit of the loom! I am not super concerned if my future kids undies "look real fly" quit that you dirty fruit group you.
*Apple meet me out back ;)

-Santa had a drug charge! THAT MAKES MY CHILDHOOD SO MUCH BETTER. Thank you beau for that piece of knowledge. what?
It was a cocaine charge? No wonder he lives in the midst of all that white fluffy stuff!



Not exactly a shining star night for me.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Puppy-Forever.

I really don't like being an adult. It bores me. I should have been injected with puppy-forever when I was small. Except..maybe fed it because I once punched a nurse in the face for trying to give me a shot. I wish I was making that up.

Help!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Update- Me now.

mmm mmm mmm. Look at me now.




I really need sleep.

Twitter

I am starting to tweet a lot more than anyone probably cares about. I found out about a site (by creeping another blog) that predicts something you will tweet next and i have to say....i am a fucking lunatic. Obviously. Don't normal people get things like "Going for a run"

This is what I get:

-Was in the car, this not fun. Smores and rescue missions. Intense staring match with the mail.

-Watching brayndon. Of course they can predict my lungs in my dog. I love I have not wanted to gag

Along with some other pretty strange shit.

Jesus Christ.

When did this happen and why wasn't I told!

I hung out with my dear friend, T-Wayne, today and we decided to go to the highschool to visit our old chemistry teacher, who is the most amazing chemistry teacher on the face of the planet.

She let us blow things up on a consistent basis, set huge fires in her room, and we once evacuated the school. She has several times but I was there once which makes me jealous of everyone else who were there the other time because there really is nothing like a school hearing alarms and in an organized stampede going outside. And getting to watch the confused horror on their faces and knowing that I helped put it there. I happen to get a bit smug.

And then there was the explosion. Ok that really didnt happen.

Anyway we are walking in and the following conversation occured

T-Wayne : "Why do I get the feeling I am walking into hell"
Me: "Because you are. That's not a feeling, that is a fact."

And that pretty much wraps up how I feel about highschool.

We are minding our own business. Noticing the little changes here and there they made and la-di-dah. This man/janitor person came up to me and asked if I needed help getting my door unlocked to set up my room for the year.

WHEN did I become old enough to look like I can have a highschool Classroom of my own?
I get that I look 12. 16 on a good day. Today is not a good day. I had about 5% (its really convinent that 5 and % are on the same key) makeup on and yet i still look that old? Give me a break. Whennnn did That happen. I am both stoked and Sad. (I don't know why I Keep capitalizing things at random. Sorry)

I am about 95% (5!!) sure I am going insane.

-Nikki. Bitch.