Wednesday, June 1, 2011

What Is Love?

I have been thinking on this question a lot lately. A LOT.

And the only answer I can come up with- There is no answer.

Romantic Love is something different to everone. Every single person has their own unique perception of what that four letter word means and entails, and all have something different that works for them. And if it works for them- who am I to judge their love? Who am I to say its not right? If it is two consentual adults doing what works for them- good. I am happy for them, sincerely. Love is a gift and I will no longer forget that.

Lets take My grandparents for example-
They are fond of each other. I have never seen them be "in love" and do cute romantic things outwardly, hell they even sleep in different rooms. But I have come to realize that after 50 years they have grown out of the feeling of love and grown into the companionship love- which is the natural course for relationships to take, and it is only in companionship love that relationships can thrive long-term. But thinking on it, they are incredibly sweet to eachother but not in the ways i think of as 'romantic'.

My grandma indulges and humors my grandpa in his quirks, even though I know it drives her batty sometimes. Like how he turns off the A/C mid-day in cooler months and opens the blinds and curtains to allow the sun to heat the house- effective but slow. I have vivid memories of when I was young at their house laying in the den in the sunlight because it just felt good. She moved her entire life to our little sleepy town to be with him when she was young and he got transferred. (I know many couples who would break up over things like that these days), She raised a family of 5 with him, She supports his hobbies (photography, geneology)

Like-wise he let her "tiny cabin in the woods in West Virginia" turn into her summer dream home without complaint and doesnt harass too much even when it takes her a year and a half of buying and returning to pick a comforter for the guest room much less the 5 years it took to finish the aformentioned summer home, bakes her fresh bread every Sunday, and keeps the yard tidy so all she has to worry about is her garden.

Its the little things one can do for another to keep a relationship going strong. Picking your battles, and humoring whims even if you dont see the point. So their relationship is different from mine. GOOD. It works for them obviously. 50 years is a LONG time. Expecially to wake up and deal with the same person It takes such an amount of HARD WORK to keep that going. With the divorce rate at nearly half these days, it makes me so proud to know that they worked out their problems and stuck to their wedding vows for 50 entire years. Grandma got married to Papi at 18. Her entire life has been spent with him. That is amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Papi is in the hospital right now. He had a heart attack and had a triple bypass. Grandma has been by his side every day. Let me tell you- hospitals are NO fun. But she goes every day. Even if he's not awake, can't talk because of a ventilator, or is just plain cranky because he hates being there (and who can blame him!) she goes every day. She even feels guilty when she goes out and has a bit of fun (she came to see Hairspray for me) when he is stuck in that bed. That is love.

And I hope one day I will be with someone Fifty years strong.
Love is a gift. Love is something special
True Love