Saturday, November 12, 2011

Begging for forgiveness.

I have been a terrible blogger. Forgive me.

I won't go in to the laundry list of excuses, but I am trying to get back on the ball.

As my first effort, I will leave you with this. I made it today. Don't leave me alone with fabric and a needle.

Haters gonna Hate

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Occupy Wall Street

I posted this on twitter, but I am so in awe of what hypocrites these protesters are.

Where do you think Wall Street gets it's money?
From those very people that are protesting.

They are all consumers. Big time from the looks of all their iphones and ipads and brand name clothes &
do not even get me started on all the celebrities jumping on the band-wagon of this movement.
Are they serious with that?

You are going to protest about greed and putting money back into the 'main stream'
Stop buying big-business products.
The celebrities that are there- seriously, get on with that Kanye West. You can't say shit about greed.

It baffles me that these people are doing this. And now they are protesting homes? That is only going to make matters worse. 

What are they honestly trying to accomplish? An equalization of power? They wouldn't really like that. Too much responsibility. The top 50% already pays 96% of the taxes, and I'm confident they aren't willing to carry that burden. Cut spending? WHERE. Our deficit is up so much you would literally have to cut damn-near every.single. social program and the military to balance the budget.

What is the solution?

Monday, October 10, 2011

Sometimes you find it.

This was on today's Post Secret.
Class is starting so I don't have time to post in length, but I like this very much.
And I agree whole-heartily

Friday, October 7, 2011

Large Black and moos.

Cows. Moo. I feel like I have been writing a lot about them lately, or thinking about writing a lot about them lately, but I seriously could not resist letting the world have access to the knowledge that THIS SHIT HAPPENS.

Beau and me took a wrong turn the other night in a small hick-town that TLC won't even come to film things in because of a)how small it is b)it's history with racism. Points if you know what town Im talking about. Points and a cookie. A BATCH OF COOKIES.

Either way we almost slam into a herd of cows in the middle of the road. Large. Large Cows. Large Black Cows. Large Black Cows that were everywhere. All over this guys front lawn, his ditch, meandering into the road. LARGE COWS MOOING EVERYWHERE. 

Beau being a rancher at heart (He has never lived on a ranch, but the boy can dream) Stopped to ask the lone man standing in the midst of this if he needed help getting them all back in their pen. There are like 50 of them.

NOPE. This guy with all seriousness is like "Oh they're like my dogs. I just let them out to run around and graze" Me and beau fall into a fit of hysterical laughter, the man didn't get it.

Beau asked to pet one. The man said yes. I said no.

Reading about it doesn't do it justice.

But as we left Beau rolled the windows down and with such enthusiasm pronounced "MOOOOOO"

so um yeah....moo


PS. This reminds me of a time when beau and his pal were driving down this street at like 2am. They threw a bottle out the window (i do not condone this) and hit a cow. It had escaped, they didn't know it was there, and they hit it with a bottle. It came at them.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Thought Process

Texas is weird.
Southern Women are charming
Our Accents inspire admiration...and giggles.
Coming to Texas is like going to a different country.
I have terrible writers block so I am just going in short bursts trying to get it back again.
It=writing ability.
I cannot come up with anything to write about.
I am now rambling.
I need to stop.
But I haven't figured out what to write yet.
I hate traffic.
I am addicted to cough drops.
I went into full beast mode this morning at garage sales, and got awesome shiz.
I am really pale
It's only going to get worse through winter
Self tanner makes me orange
Orange is a strange word
I live in Orange Texas.
Texas is weird.
This has no point
I need to do homework
I have to read 3 chapters of Government
I have to make a outline for my next speech in Public Speaking
I need to read four chapters in Theatre
Why did I type "3" but write out "four"
Why do I even notice that
I apologize if you are wasting your life right now.
I feel like doing something completely irrational, with no purpose but to say 'i wanted to'
I have to go get a birthday present for the 2 year old's birthday party.
What do 2 year olds like
2. two..
two. too. to. through. threw.
like a cow!
I like cows.
I want a cow.
A giant one.
Actually a tiny one. one the size of a dog. They have those now.
I want one.
I need to finish my Thing in a Jar.
I am procrastinating the simplest step.
I am procrastinating. Period.
This is boring.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

This will make me no friends im sure.

Being Politically correct is HORSESHIT.

-If you are "vertically challenged"- imma call you a midget.
-If you are "horizontally accessable" - imma call you a slut.
-If you are "differently abled" - Imma probably call you handicapped
-BTW I say retard. But I don't mean it horribly, I just refuse to be PC. Because it all means the same thing.
-I'm not going to call my dog my "companion species." Shes a dog. A pet. above her. And just because you can punt her across a room doesn't disqualify her from being a dog. She will still bite your ass.
-Certain pieces of work, are better than others
-There are people prettier than you.
-If you are African American// a person of color- Imma call you black. Because chances are, you don't have dual citizenship with Africa. Hell you probably weren't born there. You probably haven't even been there. So you are black. And I am white. I don't ask to be a "European-Native-American" Because im white. and American. That is all.
-White people aren't the only racists. It applies to anyone buddy.
-My hamburger, will remain a hamburger. I won't call it processed Cow Carcass. Mainly because I like thinking my meat grows on trees. thankyouverymuch
- Women. Not Womyn.
- I will say "Hey your gay" Because if your not, don't get offended. and if you are- you are gay. it's what you are, suck it up. Straight//gay. I dont give a flying flit which, but im not going to cater to your every whim because your sensitive.
-Most Affirmative action is discriminatory against whites. and asians.
- I will judge your culture for a history of cannibalism//sacrifice if you are going to judge mine by slavery.
-Obama is just as white as he is black
-Disability is too easily handed out.  Me or anyone else shouldnt have to pay for your drug//alcohol habits// your add which wont allow you to keep a job.
-You should stop being lazy. And stop bitching about not getting things, because you have to chase after what you want darling.
-Your kids are probably annoying.
-A swat on the butt teaches kids
-Circumsision is not your choice for another parent. Also- I don't want to hear about your choice.
-Rich people should not have to pay more taxes.
-Your conspiracy theory is probably false. Sorry to take that away from you
-A pirate will kick your ninja's ass any day.
-You do not know everything

If I have personally offended you, oh well.. If not- good on you.
But if I did- send me a comment. All comments go directly to my email which pings my phone. SO if you wanna piss me off immencely, ping me late at night. a lot. a lot a lot. I don't wake up to one or two. =]

Monday, September 19, 2011

Go Repent Ye Young Sinner

True Story.

Waiter- "Sinner"

Me- "You make the baby Jesus cry."

Waiter- "No I don't, I'm Catholic"

Beau- "Go Repent Ye Young Sinner"

W- "You don't have to repent when you are as close to your priest as I am"

B-"Yeah, but didn't you ever get tired of waking up next to strange priests?"

W-" They were never strange! We got to know eachother very well throughout the night. THANKYOUVERYMUCH"

Me- " in the biblical sense?"

Who.the.hell. has conversations with their waiter like that?

In other news- I recently became a man

I had a beard too before I..err....shaved it off. Yeah thats right, shaved. Because I'm a man.